Dubbed "Big Ring Boulevard," it's 8km of big smiles (and the occasional endo) to Doper's Creek.

Despite everything, I actually enjoyed the ride.


We set off late on a Wednesday afternoon to go up the rollercoaster to the windmill above Brooklyn, scoot down the road and up to Hawkins Hill, and down the track to Red Rocks, around and up the tip track, back to the windmill, down the rollercoaster. The bike had been in at the shop - new brake pads, new front tyre. But I'm told that the hubs need maintenance and the head-set's going - the bike's just getting a bit worn down.

The Red Rocks track was closed. So we went down the tip track: I couldn't get confident or comfortable on that long steep downhill over loose dirt and gravel. Scott punctured both tyres.

Eventually to the bottom, and the slow grind back up. Gordie forged ahead, I followed, Brains and Scott behind us. Pushing very hard Gordie managed the uphill in around 32 mins, I was a minute or so behind, the others at 90 second intervals back from that. The guys talked about how nasty the climb was, but actually I was starting to enjoy myself. There's something satisfying about taking on something really hard and sweating through it.

So I led off at speed back to the windmill. Down the road from Hawkin's Hill fast, around some bends very fast, then gain a lot speed approaching the bottom for the climb back up to the windmill, whip around the corner leaning hard and... WHO THE HELL PUT A GATE ACROSS THE ROAD!

For a frozen moment it all stopped and I saw my options. Couldn't go left - gap in fence but too small for bike. Couldn't go right. Spin out back wheel & hit gate sideways - not good. Drop bike and slide - not good. Brake straight in & take the gate square, hope to catapult over and roll. Okay.

From freeze-frame to fast-forward. Almost brake, bike-gate, air, me-gate, up, handstick, bLuR.

Why's everything upside down? Brains and Scott screeched in behind to see how I was. And then Gordie came around the corner above and wondered why on earth Mr W was hanging over the top of the gate with his bike on top of his legs and his head almost touching the ground.

In retrospect: The new brake pads and new grippy tyre saved me. I almost stopped. The front wheel hit, and I went over. But the gate took some of the shock. I didn't fly over because my wrists hit the top of the gate, and leverage then held my hands on the handlebars. So bike and all started to go up and over - but the extra leverage and weight of the bike kept us back. So I pivotted hard, hit my jaw on the far side of the gate, and was left hanging head-down. Bruised wrists. Bruised jaw. Severe bruising to my pride.

We went on. What else do you do? A kilometre or so later we're back on rough track by the windmill.

My back tyre punctured. The guys sprang into action with alacrity. And we went on.

My chain broke. Tingley-tink, bits of metal on the ground. Probably because it got kinked up in the crash. Possibly to do with the way the gears hit the top of the gate when the bike landed on me. Gordie impressed me with a little tool to wind a rivets in the chain out and re-link some unbroken bits - so it's somewhat shorter than before. My bike still goes as long as I stay in the middle chain ring. The guys are supporting me wonderfully here, and seem quite pleased to be doing so. It really is worth saying again: What great guys!

My bike and I limp home bruised and battered. But Traveller has come to visit and made an awesome chicken Korma, and little H has held off from eating dinner until nearly her bedtime because she wanted to eat with dad. Awww.